i'm all talk, no action.

too much talk apparently. i guess i just need to smoke more and chill the fuck out.
but i mean come on, really? REALLY?

i don't know who my friends are. i don't whats a dream and what's real. i'm sick of highs and lows. i want new medicine. i want to stop freaking myself out. i want people to actually want to talk to me. i don't want to be so fucking alone all the time. crowd of people, crying? yeah sounds cool. i'll go lock myself in the bathroom like a fucking 16 year old girl again. i thought this was supposed to be all in the past. WHERE IS THIS ALL COMING FROM I DON'T UNDERSTAND. i thought i was finally figuring myself out. maybe it's self defense, i can't tell. so much to do, so little time.